One Ringy Dingy... Two Ringy Dingy... It This the Party to Whom I am Speaking??

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Call me one crazy Realtor, but I do NOT want to be 100% reachable by telephone at all times…

Phones have been making me crazy for years. They are an interruption and a real disruption if I am engaged in something that requires a great deal of concentration. I resisted getting a cell phone for this very reason, and then resisted upgrading to a smart phone…. THAT one is okay because I can text a VERY short message or see emails, but those interruptions are of MY choosing. Phone conversations almost always last longer than they really need to since “one quick question” generally turns into a much longer chat as one question leads to another or someone feels the need to fulfill social niceties... So, by the time you hang up you have lost 10 plus minutes and all momentum.

I know that sounds almost anathema for a Realtor to hate answering the phone when I am in the middle of something, but I cringe when I hear other agents tells me that they have clients who call them at 10:30 at night during the week or at 7 in the morning on a Sunday or during an Anniversary dinner or constantly while they were on vacation...

I am aghast. THEY ANSWER THEIR PHONE!

Holy cow. Not me. If someone is up and wants to know something in the middle of the night, shoot me an email or text me. I will get to it as soon as I am up and available to talk. Now, if I know something important is coming in then yeah, I make allowances for that. Usually.

A good friend who has been in the business for many years advised me that I am missing out on business because I am not always 100% available and sometimes don’t get to answering phone messages for a few hours (or longer if someone has the nerve to call me in the middle of the freaking night!). Now, this very same person does NOT allow his cell phone number to be given out because it is an intrusion on his personal life. The crux of this is, of course, that I am looking for business and his is already set, but still. I feel like I can give good service to my clients without giving up every single second of my weekends or evenings! Why do I have to EARN the right to a private life?

I do answer emails and texts pretty quickly, for some reason those are easier to respond to… with the added bonus of having everything in writing for reference on both sides. As my memory gets a little jumbled now and then with so many issues and ideas and facts and people and and AND!!! all mixed up in my brain, I can be both concise and thorough in an email, or even a text. So, my rule is (and I tell my clients this), if I don’t answer the phone, shoot me a text or email if at all possible. I will probably answer that faster and will call later if a conversation is still needed.


It just seems to me that people’s attention span has gotten so short that they have forgotten how to live in the moment… everything is INSTANT! NOW! GOTTA HAVE IT! INFORMATION AT YOUR FINGERTIPS! As the late great Yoda says, they are always looking “to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing.” (picture Yoda poking you with a stick here)


I think we are becoming a society of schizophrenic hyper sensitive instant gratification junkies.


Tell me you haven’t seen THIS one: two people sitting at a restaurant, both of them facing slightly away from each other, both of them with a phone to their ear or texting away, not saying a word to each other, not even making eye contact. People walk side by side, but don’t talk to one another, they are texting or tweeting or chatting to someone else. They text or talk on the phone during movies, while walking the dog, in line at the grocery store, in coffee shops, book stores, walking down the street, in their front yards… when they are alone or surrounded by people they know.


And people are OKAY with this??


Well, I for one do NOT feel obligated to pick up the phone when I am with other clients, on the road, having dinner, watching my favorite-I-waited-to-see-this-episode-all-week TV show, in the middle of a project, talking to my kids, spending time with my husband, working in the garden, playing at Disneyland, bathing the dog… in other words, I want to have a LIFE.


That’s right, a LIFE! Which means you do NOT have the unmitigated right to interrupt me at all hours and get all pissy about it when I don’t pick up the phone to talk to you RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, even if I am up to my elbows in gardening dirt or dog shampoo or am busy kissing my hubby.


Text or email me. I’m more likely to respond faster… when I am DONE washing the dog!



Just Musing,
Susan


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My Super-Power

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I live in a house full of men. My husband and his three boys (ages 16-22) toss one hell of a lot of testosterone around when they are all together. Noise, threats (even the ones in jest), talking (read: yelling) over each other to be heard, roughhousing, sounds of things and bodies falling, taunts, insults, sucking sounds (that is food disappearing as if there is a black hole in the pantry and fridge), uncontained energy that is actually a palpable viable entity, and did I mention a whole hell of a lot of NOISE???.

Sheesh.

Trying to hold my own in a conversation with these mooks is pretty much impossible for a mild-mannered female who really just wants someplace quiet to curl up and read a good book. Somehow, no matter where I am in the house, they all seem to gravitate to the room I have tried to claim and will enter talking, saying, “Oh, you’re reading. I don’t want to interrupt you when you’re reading. I just wanted to ask your advice about something. But I really don’t want to interrupt you. That’s really rude. What are you reading? No, it’s okay, I’ll just go; I don’t want to be rude and interrupt your reading…”

Or, while I am obviously typing away on my computer at a hundred miles an hour with paperwork spread out all around me, so therefore it must be the perfect time to ask the famous Most Important Question of All: “Susan, who do you think would win in an EPIC battle to save the world: Superman or Spiderman?” and then of course, no one would wait for my answer (since all they really wanted to do was tell me what THEY thought), they would all chime in and thus begins a loud half hour long debate about the merits of being born a superhero and being transformed against one’s will and which movie was the best and how metro-sexual Spidey in Spiderman III was just WRONG and Superman is really just a wimp who happens to be an alien so he doesn’t count and is it better to have cool toys like Batman or be invincible like Superman and what superpower would YOU want, I want to fly, no that’s dumb, invisibility is the way to go, no that would only be helpful if you were planning something illegal and and and AND…!!

Double sheesh.

However, in the midst of all of this crazy chaos, I have decided that I, too, have a super-power, but it is not one that I control or can use for the betterment of All Mankind – rather it is controlled by those around me, people who – perhaps unknowingly (which is the kindest and most generous way to look at it) – have the uncanny ability to confer the most Devastatingly Powerful Attribute on my person: Mutable Invisibility.

The power to Mute my voice when I am speaking on any subject is something that seems to be mostly controlled by men or near-men (teenagers). It is a fairly stereotypical power, one that has been chronicled in comics, movies, etc. Its power is convey powerlessness on the target, and it is very, very effective.

Sample conversation: “So, tomorrow we need to…”
Interrupts: “Did you pick up some Chlorine for the pool?”
Me: “I don’t have a…”
Interrupts: “Where are all my tools?? I can never find a hammer when I need one!”
Me: “I saw one in the…”
Interrupts: “When’s dinner? I’m starved!!”

Sha ZAM!

Invisibility is very similar to Mutability. It is generally characterized by looking in the general direction of the person speaking, but not really seeing him/her. This power can be conferred on both males and females equally, and is especially favored by teens to marginalize any adult.

Glazed or shifting eyes, slack mouth, mono-syllabic answers (in teens it is usually grunts or other generally assenting sounds that don’t require actual enunciation), abruptly sitting down, turning around or walking away while you are in the middle of sentence are some of the most common traits of the Invisibility Power Broker.

I suspect that many women in my generation, especially Mothers, have at one time or another felt the same way. So much of what we do daily is unseen and unacknowledged as important, so it has become a habit to take us for granted… and it becomes a habit not to join in the din and add to the chaos just to shout out, “Hey, stop ignoring me!” because, frankly, that just sounds whiney and petty.

So really, my Super-Power is the uncanny ability to remain unacknowledged and rendered silent and powerless, and really, isn’t that my own fault?



Just Musing,
Susan


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