Time was that I knew everything. I knew what I was going to be when I grew up, I knew all about my future husband and perfect kids and where I was going to live, I even knew what kind of car I was going to drive.
Then LIFE happened. Almost everything I thought I was going to be, everything I thought my life was going to be, has turned out so very differently than my childhood self could have possibly imagined.
It is not always a bad thing, to find that some adjustments have to be made along the way. The big disappointments, things that left me bleeding and broken, eventually healed and have made me stronger. And the little things, the tiny little regrets that creep up and chop at the soul little by little over the years, those are are harder to get over…
What can you do? I guess there is no real answer, just the realization that all you can do it take it day by day and know that things will eventually work out.
Just Musing,
Susan
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Living Out Loud
*******
It used to be that Living Out Loud meant you were living as BIG life, full of adventure, risks, fun… Jumping out of airplanes, climbing mountains, backpacking in Nepal, joining the Peace Corps and generally just taking Big Bites outta Life.
Now, however, living out loud means you are living in the public arena on Social Media like Facebook... every word, action, mistake, private humiliation, rant and embarrassing moment is paraded, laughed about and posted for all to see.
I love Facebook. I check it out several times a day, post comments, update my status and play with old friends (and my SuperPoke Pet, Chilly)… but the version of me I put up there is fairly sanitized. I try not to be too negative or whiny, and I certainly don’t give a blow-by-blow of the latest argument with my hubby (although ranting about teenagers is okay for some reason), really stupid mistakes that I make or why I hate… anything. Wait. Anything except people who talk during movies. They’re fair *grrrrrr snarl pfttt pffft* game!
In reading the posts of FB Friends over the past year and a half that I have been active, I first noticed that the younger people tended to be more open and unfiltered in their posts: decrying injustices large and small, spewing venom or praise, being petty and generous, passionately defending their right to be passionate about anything and everything. Swearing, vitriol, biting wit, absolute definitive statements (the kind that young people and extremists are wont to make) peppered their status updates, affording amusing, aggravating, thoughtful and LOL moments to their readers.
It is almost as if the mere anonymity of typing onto a keyboard or phone freed them from the usual unwritten rules of an admittedly dying polite society. Despite reports of employers finding out about nasty comments said about them online, they still vent about bosses on their status. Despite the fact that everyone they “friend” will be a witness, they still say things about people that they cannot just take back, but is immortalized forever on some server somewhere. Posting “Having a GREAT time at the beach!” when you called in deathly sick is a mere "heehee" moment when you are caught in the lie.
Perhaps younger people have more tolerance for this sort of thing as they have thoroughly immersed themselves the concept of instant communication. Instantaneous validation, comment, being free with their wildly fluctuating emotions without regret or pause seems to be a part of their daily lives, like breathing or downing Energy Drinks. Texting when out with friends is not only acceptable but encouraged. Instant, 24/7 access to your many BFFs seems to be a requirement with many younger people.
Of course, I admit that having a bad day, posting about it and receiving several positive “you’ll be okay”’, “I hear ya”, “((hugs))” and other encouraging words from people all over the world just feels good. When you are feeling the most down, reaching out semi-anonymously makes you realize that you are not, indeed alone. It is better than a session with a therapist… plus you have any number of them online all day long. For free!
The negatives – having something you post, or something a friend or frenemy posts about you – can bite you in the butt down the line – don’t stand a chance. The FB Era is here and is changing the way we interact with one another.
So, does that mean that my generation is also, albeit more slowly, riding this Out Loud train? Yeah, I think so. More and more older adults (and by older adults I mean over 35 or so) are embracing the concept of Living Out Loud… to a point. The instant validation of opinion, virtual hugs, finding other Bones or Firefly fans in your friends list are intoxicating plusses to this brave new world.
The choice we have is just how transparent we want to live. Our presentation to the world on Facebook is every bit as important as our grooming to go out in public. A smile generates a smile. Truly or incessantly negative people will eventually be hidden or blocked. Political activists will encourage – no DEMAND – hot debates. Business people will hawk their goods (careful! Too much and you will be blocked, too!). And, just like in real life, we will tailor our friends list to our specific needs and weed out the ones that are just not a good fit eventually, even if it makes our friend count go down.
It all boils down to what kind of person you choose to be online. It is simply another mask, just like the one you wear to work, or when you are in a meeting with a client, or are with your family (including the crazy cousin everyone seems to have who will completely misinterpret something you say and spread all those nasty rumors), at the pub on Friday night or having dinner with your kids, You are many different people during the course of your day, and Facebook is just one more persona.
Who do you choose to be online?
Me, I have an almost pathological aversion to hurting people and so don’t say a lot of negative things in person, why would I do it on Facebook? And who knows, maybe my generally happy posts are helping others who are having a bad day – making them laugh or smile or simply not feeling as if they are all alone in the world.
So, for the time being, I will still sanitize things a bit and continue to be fairly positive online.
But that’s just me.
Just Musing,
Susan
*****
It used to be that Living Out Loud meant you were living as BIG life, full of adventure, risks, fun… Jumping out of airplanes, climbing mountains, backpacking in Nepal, joining the Peace Corps and generally just taking Big Bites outta Life.
Now, however, living out loud means you are living in the public arena on Social Media like Facebook... every word, action, mistake, private humiliation, rant and embarrassing moment is paraded, laughed about and posted for all to see.
I love Facebook. I check it out several times a day, post comments, update my status and play with old friends (and my SuperPoke Pet, Chilly)… but the version of me I put up there is fairly sanitized. I try not to be too negative or whiny, and I certainly don’t give a blow-by-blow of the latest argument with my hubby (although ranting about teenagers is okay for some reason), really stupid mistakes that I make or why I hate… anything. Wait. Anything except people who talk during movies. They’re fair *grrrrrr snarl pfttt pffft* game!
In reading the posts of FB Friends over the past year and a half that I have been active, I first noticed that the younger people tended to be more open and unfiltered in their posts: decrying injustices large and small, spewing venom or praise, being petty and generous, passionately defending their right to be passionate about anything and everything. Swearing, vitriol, biting wit, absolute definitive statements (the kind that young people and extremists are wont to make) peppered their status updates, affording amusing, aggravating, thoughtful and LOL moments to their readers.
It is almost as if the mere anonymity of typing onto a keyboard or phone freed them from the usual unwritten rules of an admittedly dying polite society. Despite reports of employers finding out about nasty comments said about them online, they still vent about bosses on their status. Despite the fact that everyone they “friend” will be a witness, they still say things about people that they cannot just take back, but is immortalized forever on some server somewhere. Posting “Having a GREAT time at the beach!” when you called in deathly sick is a mere "heehee" moment when you are caught in the lie.
Perhaps younger people have more tolerance for this sort of thing as they have thoroughly immersed themselves the concept of instant communication. Instantaneous validation, comment, being free with their wildly fluctuating emotions without regret or pause seems to be a part of their daily lives, like breathing or downing Energy Drinks. Texting when out with friends is not only acceptable but encouraged. Instant, 24/7 access to your many BFFs seems to be a requirement with many younger people.
Of course, I admit that having a bad day, posting about it and receiving several positive “you’ll be okay”’, “I hear ya”, “((hugs))” and other encouraging words from people all over the world just feels good. When you are feeling the most down, reaching out semi-anonymously makes you realize that you are not, indeed alone. It is better than a session with a therapist… plus you have any number of them online all day long. For free!
The negatives – having something you post, or something a friend or frenemy posts about you – can bite you in the butt down the line – don’t stand a chance. The FB Era is here and is changing the way we interact with one another.
So, does that mean that my generation is also, albeit more slowly, riding this Out Loud train? Yeah, I think so. More and more older adults (and by older adults I mean over 35 or so) are embracing the concept of Living Out Loud… to a point. The instant validation of opinion, virtual hugs, finding other Bones or Firefly fans in your friends list are intoxicating plusses to this brave new world.
The choice we have is just how transparent we want to live. Our presentation to the world on Facebook is every bit as important as our grooming to go out in public. A smile generates a smile. Truly or incessantly negative people will eventually be hidden or blocked. Political activists will encourage – no DEMAND – hot debates. Business people will hawk their goods (careful! Too much and you will be blocked, too!). And, just like in real life, we will tailor our friends list to our specific needs and weed out the ones that are just not a good fit eventually, even if it makes our friend count go down.
It all boils down to what kind of person you choose to be online. It is simply another mask, just like the one you wear to work, or when you are in a meeting with a client, or are with your family (including the crazy cousin everyone seems to have who will completely misinterpret something you say and spread all those nasty rumors), at the pub on Friday night or having dinner with your kids, You are many different people during the course of your day, and Facebook is just one more persona.
Who do you choose to be online?
Me, I have an almost pathological aversion to hurting people and so don’t say a lot of negative things in person, why would I do it on Facebook? And who knows, maybe my generally happy posts are helping others who are having a bad day – making them laugh or smile or simply not feeling as if they are all alone in the world.
So, for the time being, I will still sanitize things a bit and continue to be fairly positive online.
But that’s just me.
Just Musing,
Susan
*****
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Poem: Some Thoughts in a Darkened Theater After the Show
In the movies
Life is never petty,
The players are always Beautiful,
Jealousies are Grandly Noble, and
Love lasts forever.
A plot twist in the movies
can leave you gasping.
A plot twist in life
still leaves you gasping
but you cannot leave this theater
and walk out into the sun.
Here you must stay
and play it out.
And no one applauds
when the credits finally roll:
the best that you can hope for
is that the audience
will cry.
(c) Susan Quinland-Stringer
Life is never petty,
The players are always Beautiful,
Jealousies are Grandly Noble, and
Love lasts forever.
A plot twist in the movies
can leave you gasping.
A plot twist in life
still leaves you gasping
but you cannot leave this theater
and walk out into the sun.
Here you must stay
and play it out.
And no one applauds
when the credits finally roll:
the best that you can hope for
is that the audience
will cry.
(c) Susan Quinland-Stringer
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