Do Women have the Right to Be Themselves?

Aside from the obvious, there are some extreme differences in the way that men and women view the world - and each other - in today's society.

Take the issue of protection of a weaker creature vs. and adult’s right to self-determination.

Being female, I can only relate what I have observed in my more than half century on the planet, but it would seem that many men see women as the weaker sex, and must thus be protected. This protective stance no doubt is instinctual and harkens back to when dangers lurked around every corner and the female and any children were extremely vulnerable to animal, element and even enemy attack.

Throughout history, and up until fairly recently, rigid roles of protector and nurturer were, by evolutionary standards, necessary to the survival of the species.

In modern times, the roles of men and women are not so markedly defined, and the advent of excellent shelter and fortifications further protects the Family Unit. In addition, women in the work force also contribute to financial stability, sometimes even surpassing the male contribution. This has necessitated a paradigm shift in the way that gender roles are perceived and fulfilled.

The concepts of Equality and Partnership in marriage and families is being personally worked out every day in homes throughout Western society. Some families use the traditional roles in home and work, although nowadays most major decisions are made jointly rather than assigning all financial and total managerial control to one party in the relationship. Most families work out their own dynamics based on the needs of the family, ability and financial considerations.

Other societies are also experiencing some of these changes, but their timelines and culture are creating their own challenges to these revolutionary concepts.

The world is still a dangerous place, and many men still feel a great need to protect their spouses and children from anything bad that might happen.

This is a fine and even praiseworthy sentiment. However, when that protective stance spills over from basic bodily protection into a conviction that a person should have or has control of another adult's movements, and either directly or indirectly impedes the ability to make decisions about their own life, the dynamic changes from the presumptive equal partnership to that of a parent/child.

This does not include the agreed upon tasks that are mutually agreed to be split, such as grocery shopping, doing the bills/finances, laundry, cooking, childcare, house and yard work, etc. These types of tasks are no longer required to be split along gender roles. Most people figure out who does each of them best and just agree to take specific responsibilities.

But if one person has to ask permission or get approval to run every aspect of his/her life, someone is being caged.

And a cage, even a really pretty one, is still a cage.

It has happened several times in my life that a partner has felt that they had the right to dictate my movements, my thoughts, my activities, my education, my hobbies, even the way I voted. It became obvious over time that these individuals not only did not respect me as a fully grown human adult, but also did not respect me as an intelligent, capable individual. Just the fact that I might make a decision that they did not approve of was enough to set off alarm bells and slam down the bars of the cage.

Protect me? No. You do not respect me. Make sure I am safe? You do not respect my ability to make my own decisions. You want to know where I am every second of the day? Stop stalking me. I reserve the right to take an aimless drive or stop by a coffee shop or feed the ducks at a park without having to ask permission, just as you do.

There have been times when my requests to know when my partner was going to be home (mostly having to do with arranging for dinner, etc.) have been ignored, rebuffed and belittled.

And yet, that same person would stay out very late and come home so inebriated that I feared for his and that of other drivers on the road's safety.

Were the shoe on the other foot, I would be getting phone calls every five minutes, "Where are you? When are you coming home?" even when I have already given answers not 20 minutes before.

It may well be that I overreact to certain situations because my past experiences have led me to believe that someone who tells me what to do is going to get progressively worse and slide into yet another ultra-controlling person who ends up despising me as their respect is worn away by their own controlling actions.

All I ask, and what most women ask, is to be treated with respect as an adult.

Just Musing,

Susan

THE AVENGERS Movie review

(spoilers)

While waiting in line outside the Cinemark 22 on Friday night, I was struck by the diversity of the crowd. All races, all ages, men women, kids, teens, burly types, skinny guys with glasses, grandparents, straight-from-work dressed, stereotypical fanboys, baggy pants with chains hanging out of their pockets… All smiling and waiting, the atmosphere was all giddy anticipation covered with a veneer of “I’m cool”.

Let us begin.

Comic Book movies should ALWAYS be written and directed by people who love comic books. Joss Whedon’s genuine love for the genre comes through in every frame of this blockbuster. There is something for everybody; it is an over the top, energetic thrill-ride, funny and totally fun movie. Rather than treating the characters with deadly seriousness or turning them into jokes in tights, his respect for the disparate backstories as already told in the preceding movies (Ironman, Thor, and both Hulk attempts), shows though and he somehow manages to bring them together in a totally believable and yet still 100% comic-book way.

He also understands that aside from the absolutely amazing (WOW!!!!) special effects, this is still a character story at heart.

In a less complex director’s hands, you could just have The Avengers all be perfectly reasonable and noble, and have Fury send out lovely engraved but cryptic invitations (which they would all politely accept), sit them all down around a round table and explain that Something Big and Bad is out there and they must, virtuously and selflessly, sacrifice their lives to the Common Good. And they would of course, being heroes, immediately acknowledge their moral Duty and, already being suited up in their cute costumes with capes and leather and tights and armor, begin the Battle for Earth without even stopping for lunch. Of course they win. Heroic Music swells and the credit roll.

That’s the way someone who doesn’t really understand the genre may have approached the film.

Not Joss. Our Heroes come from all over the place and only one is already on board with the Avenger Initiative. The rest have to be… persuaded. So how do you get all these guys in the same room and playing nicely on the same side when one had been brain-hijacked, one doesn’t believe the cover story, one doesn’t even want to be there, one is certain this is simply a personal fight, one has nothing left to lose, and one super-spy-intelligence gatherer is being pulled into an epic war with superior firepower?

Do they all just suit up because Nick Fury tells them to in a deeply rousing and inspiring speech? Nope. They walk away with varying degrees of disbelief and I-Have-My-Own-Problems attitudes and snipe and snarl at each other, bicker and fight like a bunch of siblings in the middle of a Testosterone War (apologies to Black Widow).

And when Superheroes fight... Well. Let’s just say things get broken up a bit. They only begin to work together when everything is falling (literally) apart. I guess falling to earth in a broken…. (insert major spoiler here… nah, not gonna do it!)… will do that to a team. Of course they weren’t ALL on board the *********, but they all did literally succumb to gravity in their own way. Everyone gets knocked on the head a bit, shakes it off and realized they had better Do Something.

Working in pairs at first, then cross teaming, they finally get to the point where Captain America is calling the shots with all the assurance of a broken military general who is finally in his element and completely understands his troops. Only then are they The Avengers.

But they still annoy each other, maybe just a little.

Within the scope of the main Save the World from a Terrible Menace plot, there are smaller interwoven stories, many character reveals, and of course, as this is a Joss Whedon project, completely believable and absolutely hilarious humor sprinkled throughout.

The Big Bad, Loki, is as complex as any other character, and is much more menacing than in the Thor movie; less, dare I say, comic book two dimensional. In Loki’s determined and demented quest to be loved, feared and revered, even he understands on some level that he is manipulating forces that he cannot completely control, but he continues to play his part in the game with a grim determination and certain maniacal glee at the thought of beating his step-brother down. Who cares about the puny humans; they are ants, he is the boot.

There is a lot of fighting, amazingly realistic effects, spectacular settings and many surprises. A few questions are answered and some more are raised. My biggest question has to do with the Hulk, if the end is true, then why the first time?? Hmmmm. I have a theory, but will see the movie again tomorrow to see if it bears out.

Quibbles were few and were drowned out by the completely immersive FUN of the overall experience. And as we learned from the other Marvel movies, stay until the very end of the credits. Something happens, and then later, a small, but funny scene. Just stay. And see if you can count just how many special effects companies were involved!

I saw it in a regular 3D (IMax was sold out… *pouts*) in a nearly sold out theater, and suggest that you see it in 3D, too. I can’t believe that Joss has never filmed in 3D before, it was handled MASTERFULLY.

My rating: 9.9999999 out of 10

Just Musing,
Susan

CABIN IN THE WOODS Movie Review

(mild spoilers)
Not gonna be your normal review, by the way. PLUS I am bound by my inner theater maven and will NOT give any of the plot away. Let someone else leak the twists; it’s not going to be me. I am also not a fan of the horror genre in general, usually finding it a pointless and incredibly, insultlingly stupid waste of time. There are some great exceptions (Slither comes to mind) but on the whole, usually you couldn’t pay me to go to the theater just to watch a bunch of dumb teenagers get carved up for no good reason.

That said, let us begin.

CABIN IN THE WOODS, which has been in movie studio limbo for nearly four years (due to MGM’s bankruptcy, not because of anything wrong with the finished film itself) was released, appropriately enough, today on Friday the 13th. A very twisted and uniquely cerebral horror film, it is the brain child of Joss Whedon and his personal cadre of writer and producer friends, and features several of his favorite actors.

It was, in the beginning, eye-rollingly dumb in its seemingly obvious character set ups – except even this was done in such a clever and… manipulative... way that these tropes became something altogether different – it begins to alternately make fun of and somehow pay homage to the very stereotypes it skewers.

It is laugh out loud funny, jump out of your seat scary, startling and brain teasing because you keep thinking you have it all figured out, and sometimes just downright strange and creepy, CABIN IN THE WOODS not only turns the horror genre on its ear, but has an absolutely maniacally gleeful time doing it. It is a twisting, turning, jaw dropping roller coaster ride with more spirals and loops than… well.

The funny thing is, you are in on the joke in the beginning, which surprised me, so I was wondering if there really was anything left to reveal… you know what the BIG DEAL is right up front – more or less – and so there aren’t too many more big surprises, right? Not so fast, Kimosabee. I swear I was afraid to lift my water bottle to my mouth once things got… going, I was sure something would happen and I would spray half the audience!

Enough about the plot; I really, really can’t say anything else without spoiling it. The production values were a little uneven, usually excellent, sometimes mind-bendingly awesome (that was one crazy “elevator”!!), and sometimes a little fuzzy around the edges like they ran out of money or lost interest on their way to the next crazy scene. The heart of the film also not quite up to the standard I expect from a Whedon project, but it may be I was expecting too much after four years of waiting for this release.

Do NOT go if you are in any way squeamish. Do not take the kids, no matter how much they love Buffy; there are some seriously twisted scenes. I am not giving anything away if I tell you that in this horror movie, some folks die in pretty gruesome ways.

I also guarantee it will be talked about by horror aficionados for years, and by those who, like me, thought the genre had nothing really original to say anymore. With Joss Whedon’s name all over the movie, I should have known better.

My rating: 8.5 out of 10

Just Musing,
Susan

“MIRROR MIRROR” Movie Review

4/1/12 (Minor Spoilers)
Taking a well known, well since the Disney version of 1937, fairy tale and twisting it, making sure that it never takes itself too seriously, MIRROR MIRROR was a delight.

Dominating the first half in every possible way, Julia Roberts was obviously having the time of her life playing the evil, vain and petulant Queen to absolute perfection. Every pretty snarl, roll of the eyes and bored, “I am surrounded by idiots” look played off of the incredible, lavish costumes. The movie suffered a little when she was not on screen, for while the entire cast was game, Roberts was so completely at home in the setting and role that even terrifically comic performances by Nathan Lane (Brighton), Arnie Hammer (The Prince who keeps losing his shirt) and all of the dwarfs (really should be dwarves, but that’s a quibble that goes back generations) could not completely save the faltering second act.

Lily Collins as Snow White was lovely, if a bit clumsy and rather weak of character; I would have liked to see more of the spunk and fire she demonstrates at the very end earlier on. And I do admit to being shallow enough to want to pluck those eyebrows, just a little bit.

Many very, very funny scenes and hilarious lines were scattered throughout the film, like candy gaily dropped along the path that we as an audience eagerly scooped up, but the story’s darker themes were barely skimmed over, leaving a bit of an incomplete feel to the film. When absolutely everything is played for laughs, then there is nothing to lose, and therefore, there isn’t really anyone to root for.

The real menace was, of course, the Queen, and just as she was getting to the place where she could expose her really, really “dark side”, she was cut off and her part of the story was essentially over, apples at wedding notwithstanding. ALTHOUGH, Puppy Love, hilarious! The effects were really wonderful, especially the Mirror, and making the mirror image, well, who it was, was a master stroke.

On the whole, the movie was like an apple, tart, juicy and quite delicious, but needing just a little something more to make it a real meal.

(My Rating: 7.5/10)

Just Musing,
Susan

Review HUNGER GAMES

No spoilers - released 3/23/2012

I approached this movie with more than a little trepidation. As much as I tried to shield myself from the media, headlines caught my eye and I was truly afraid that the movie would not live up to the hype, which is what SOME people were saying, while others praised it to the skies.

After this first viewing, it is important to note two things: 1) If you are a fan of the book, it pretty faithfully follows it. 2) If you have NOT read the book, you will still "get" it; this is NOT one of those movies where everyone who read the book has to explain everything that is happening on the screen to those who have not.

It clocks in at 2 hours and 22 minutes, so they packed in as much of the book as humanly possible, without making it seem too rushed. The actors all did an incredible job of portraying the characters and the costumes were excellent, "girl on fire"!!

The changes that were made to the story were minor... and, on reflection, seemed necessary for time and/or clarity. Some ommissions, some additions, most made sense. Except for one ommission that I really missed, but, hey, I really liked the scene in the book, so I was sorry it was cut/changed.

The beginning was very disorienting – loads of camera shake in an in/out of focus montage, but still managed to convey the backstory fairly effectively. That being said, the burnt bread scene, a rather important in the book for a lot of reasons, was chopped into several tiny bits as flashbacks and didn't really work except to confuse the un-read audience. And the flashbacks regarding Katniss' Mom were odd as well, and happened extremely late in the movie, at that point it almost didn’t make sense to have it in the movie at all.

Showing the differenced between the Haves (Capitol) and Have-Nots (everywhere else) was striking. The silliness of the costumes, the inanity and shallowness of the People of Capital as compared to the rest of Panem underscored their differences: the children who are forced to fight (and kill) each other to survive and silly giddiness of those who view the Games as entertainment… and those who exploit the spectacle for political oppression of the masses.

The entire Arena section was a bit compressed, and contrary to some of the other reviews, not really sanitized, just FAST. The effects were excellent, and the whole "Reality Show/Gladiator TV Show Heartless Let’s keep Those Ratings UP" mood was conveyed very well.

There were some brutal scenes, a couple of jump-out-of-your-seat moments, and some funny flashes scattered throughout, enough to break up the tension. Gotta love that Effie!

The heart of the book was the heart of the movie, and I cried during that scene in the film, just like I did in the book... Those of you who have read the book know what I mean.

NOTE: If you have kids who have read the books and who are old enough to actually understand the theme and are able to discuss it, by all means take them to see this movie. Talk to them about it. It was far less violent than just about any Stephen King movie or Jurassic Park, for example. I would not take a young child (under 11) who is sensitive or who has NOT read the books, however.

On the whole, an excellent movie with a few minor quibbles. We saw it in an IMAX format, in perfect seats.

My rating: 9 out of 10. And I will be seeing this one again!

Just Musing,
Susan

Review: Once Upon A Time "Hat Trick"

"Hat Trick" OUAT episode aired 3/25/12

(Spoilers) There were some very good moments in this episode, chiefly surrounding the Mad Hatter/Jefferson, whose performance in Storybrooke really walked the line of creepy/dangerous/sexy and was absolutely riveting.

Wonderland was just a little weird (love those hedges!), but I wonder about the complete omission of a little girl named Alice, and of course, why the cover up of the Queen of Hearts? Are they planning to continue a Wonderland arc? Why?? Leaving so many loose ends dangling ("Grace" in Storybrooke, why/how did Jefferson know, Regina's dad and who the heck is the Red Queen???), in a story that seemed to be mostly wrapped up was just frustrating.

This episode seemed to go off in many different directions, and was almost completely without heart - much like the actual story of Alice in Wonderland... except that I had some hope when Emma started to believe, tears in her eyes and everything! Oh wait. That was a fake out, too. Hmm.

The whole thing was, in too many ways, a cheat. While I expect the Queen/Regina to be evil and manipulative (and Gold to be manipulative and so playing both sides, well actually, he just plays HIS side), every single movement forward turned out to be a lie or mis-direct without any payoff.

This episode did leave with an important question: Is Emma beginning to believe? I hope so, with a healthy dose of skepticism to keep her grounded and with one foot in each world.

All in all, this episode did not resonate quite as well as some of the others, with three steps forward and four steps back. Some brilliant acting and a few fantastic moments could not completely bring it to the level of the best episodes of the season.

My Ep Rating: 6 out of 10

Just Musing,
Susan

Review: JOHN CARTER

JOHN CARTER REVIEW (minor spoilers):

Having never read the Burroughs Barsoom series, I can't say definitively how closely it follows the books, but it was a thrill ride almost from the beginning.

The intro and everything leading up to the eventual landing on Mars was a bit too long and slightly confusing, with a lot of disorienting editing cuts, although in retrospect, they made sense by the end of the movie.

The scenes with the Colonel were pretty damn funny, though, and that is where the move really started to take off.

The effects were simply amazing, even more so than Avatar's for the sheer stark REALITY of the vistas, machinery and all the creatures. And that blue glittery stuff.... very cooooooool!

There was not even a moment when I was bored or distracted out of the movie - I never once wondered, "How much longer??" It was full of a nice blend of adventure, fighting, pathos, a touch of humor and some heart. Oh, and a huge slobbering dog with a blue tongue that runs really fast...

A few quibbles and plot holes, and certainly the science as regards to Mars is totally wrong (considering when the books were written, it is easy to forgive those). It could have used a touch more humor (especially at the beginning) and a leeeetle teeny tiny itty bit more oomph/chemistry/playfulness/​tension between John and the Princess.

I do have a feeling I am going to like it even better the second time around. I saw it in 3D, FUN without being in your face like some others.

MY RATING: 8/10

A NOTE ABOUT PRO-REVIEWERS: Personally I think that most Movie Reviewers have become jaded and stopped really enjoying movies. What on earth is a reviewer who gives John carter a 3.5 out of 5 stars doing heading their review (and spending a lot of time discussing) "It Wasn't As Bad As Expected"???? If you stripped out the getting over her poor expectations, she seemed to really like it, with the correct reservations, and yet she seemed reluctant to give it any praise, disappointed that it wasn't awful. Dumb reviewers. Well. Forget all of them! I shall give my personal reviews of all movies that we see right up here on my blog and on Facebook, so you be able to see if they are any fun at all. Because isn't that what it is all about: FUN??


Just Musing,
Susan