*******
It used to be that Living Out Loud meant you were living as BIG life, full of adventure, risks, fun… Jumping out of airplanes, climbing mountains, backpacking in Nepal, joining the Peace Corps and generally just taking Big Bites outta Life.
Now, however, living out loud means you are living in the public arena on Social Media like Facebook... every word, action, mistake, private humiliation, rant and embarrassing moment is paraded, laughed about and posted for all to see.
I love Facebook. I check it out several times a day, post comments, update my status and play with old friends (and my SuperPoke Pet, Chilly)… but the version of me I put up there is fairly sanitized. I try not to be too negative or whiny, and I certainly don’t give a blow-by-blow of the latest argument with my hubby (although ranting about teenagers is okay for some reason), really stupid mistakes that I make or why I hate… anything. Wait. Anything except people who talk during movies. They’re fair *grrrrrr snarl pfttt pffft* game!
In reading the posts of FB Friends over the past year and a half that I have been active, I first noticed that the younger people tended to be more open and unfiltered in their posts: decrying injustices large and small, spewing venom or praise, being petty and generous, passionately defending their right to be passionate about anything and everything. Swearing, vitriol, biting wit, absolute definitive statements (the kind that young people and extremists are wont to make) peppered their status updates, affording amusing, aggravating, thoughtful and LOL moments to their readers.
It is almost as if the mere anonymity of typing onto a keyboard or phone freed them from the usual unwritten rules of an admittedly dying polite society. Despite reports of employers finding out about nasty comments said about them online, they still vent about bosses on their status. Despite the fact that everyone they “friend” will be a witness, they still say things about people that they cannot just take back, but is immortalized forever on some server somewhere. Posting “Having a GREAT time at the beach!” when you called in deathly sick is a mere "heehee" moment when you are caught in the lie.
Perhaps younger people have more tolerance for this sort of thing as they have thoroughly immersed themselves the concept of instant communication. Instantaneous validation, comment, being free with their wildly fluctuating emotions without regret or pause seems to be a part of their daily lives, like breathing or downing Energy Drinks. Texting when out with friends is not only acceptable but encouraged. Instant, 24/7 access to your many BFFs seems to be a requirement with many younger people.
Of course, I admit that having a bad day, posting about it and receiving several positive “you’ll be okay”’, “I hear ya”, “((hugs))” and other encouraging words from people all over the world just feels good. When you are feeling the most down, reaching out semi-anonymously makes you realize that you are not, indeed alone. It is better than a session with a therapist… plus you have any number of them online all day long. For free!
The negatives – having something you post, or something a friend or frenemy posts about you – can bite you in the butt down the line – don’t stand a chance. The FB Era is here and is changing the way we interact with one another.
So, does that mean that my generation is also, albeit more slowly, riding this Out Loud train? Yeah, I think so. More and more older adults (and by older adults I mean over 35 or so) are embracing the concept of Living Out Loud… to a point. The instant validation of opinion, virtual hugs, finding other Bones or Firefly fans in your friends list are intoxicating plusses to this brave new world.
The choice we have is just how transparent we want to live. Our presentation to the world on Facebook is every bit as important as our grooming to go out in public. A smile generates a smile. Truly or incessantly negative people will eventually be hidden or blocked. Political activists will encourage – no DEMAND – hot debates. Business people will hawk their goods (careful! Too much and you will be blocked, too!). And, just like in real life, we will tailor our friends list to our specific needs and weed out the ones that are just not a good fit eventually, even if it makes our friend count go down.
It all boils down to what kind of person you choose to be online. It is simply another mask, just like the one you wear to work, or when you are in a meeting with a client, or are with your family (including the crazy cousin everyone seems to have who will completely misinterpret something you say and spread all those nasty rumors), at the pub on Friday night or having dinner with your kids, You are many different people during the course of your day, and Facebook is just one more persona.
Who do you choose to be online?
Me, I have an almost pathological aversion to hurting people and so don’t say a lot of negative things in person, why would I do it on Facebook? And who knows, maybe my generally happy posts are helping others who are having a bad day – making them laugh or smile or simply not feeling as if they are all alone in the world.
So, for the time being, I will still sanitize things a bit and continue to be fairly positive online.
But that’s just me.
Just Musing,
Susan
*****
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Whimsy
*****
The world is on serious information overload. Everywhere we look we are bombarded with up-to-the-second news of horrible, evil, scumbaggy, criminal, shocking, OMG, unbelievable acts of depravity.
And then Congress takes a break.
Not to make light of things that are happening today, but we really need to make light of things that are happening today. It used to be that we all got our news once a day, sometimes twice (newspaper in the morning and then evening news) and then we went about our lives, blissfully unaware of the world at large because we were completely immersed in our OWN world: family, work, friends, those were the sharp focus of our lives.
Now the outside world intrudes constantly. It bangs on the door, jumps us as we ‘round the corner, blocks our way, screams at us incessantly… It is everywhere – TV, ads, internet, updates on phones, Facebook… we cannot escape it. All the craziness and horror that can be conceived by the blackest, deepest puts of humanity is pushed in our faces All. The. Time.
Jokes have become downright mean. TV has become a showcase for viciousness masquerading as entertainment. Celebrities are alternatively revered and reviled as we discover that they are less/more than we demand them to be. Good manners and common sense have become quaint relics of another time. We celebrate bad behavior in sports “stars”. People who do not believe everything that we believe are loathed and reviled, and visa versa. Rumor is forwarded around the internet as fact. The polite phrase “excuse me” has come to mean “GET OUTTA MY WAY!”
Everyone has a myopic opinion about the state of the economy, international affairs, the housing crisis, the banking crisis, the ethics crisis, the state of our state… and everyone is LOUD. Politics is loud. Religion is loud. Rumor is loud. Panic is loud. Rebellion is loud. Everyone is screaming at the top of their lungs and no one is slowing down to listen to or even NOTICE the other side.
You people are yelling and pushing and shoving yourselves into heart attacks!
So, my idea is this: LIGHTEN UP, PEOPLE! Humorlessness in the face of the very serious state of the world is NOT going to make the world any better. People tend to shy away from others who take themselves too seriously because those kinds of people just aren’t any fun to be around. The impact of your words is not improved by sheer volume, nor is your cause helped by jumping into a light discussion with diatribes.
Personally, I think we need more whimsy in our lives. Frogs, spas, singing stars, LOL moments… indulging in silly pastimes, read the comics, play with the dog, tease the cat, watch the butterflies flit like drunken sailors, eat ice cream, roll your eyes as people who predict the end of the world in two years, jump in a rain puddle, watch old Bugs Bunny cartoons with your kids – or by yourself! – sneak out and catch a movie in the middle of the afternoon, listen to vintage Bill Cosby, take a bubble bath, read a really trashy doesn’t-even-have-one-redeeming-social-value book, take a different route to work, count the dandelion flowers in your lawn (ooooh, that one kinda hurts!), chat with a dear friend, tell an old joke, write run-on sentences once in a while… encourage flights of fancy in yourself.
You will be in a far better position to tackle those tough issues once you have aired out the garbage that has been mustering closed up inside your skull for far too long. Doesn’t your house smell better after throwing open the windows to let the Spring breeze waft through after a long, closed in Winter?? Same principle.
Give yourself and the world a break. Who cares if people look at you funny because you are singing in your car?? Sing anyway! Who cares if people think you aren’t being serious enough because you roll your eyes when you hear crap? Roll away!
Who cares if people question your sanity because you listen to the stars sing?? Listen anyway.
Be whimsical!
Just Musing,
Susan
********
The world is on serious information overload. Everywhere we look we are bombarded with up-to-the-second news of horrible, evil, scumbaggy, criminal, shocking, OMG, unbelievable acts of depravity.
And then Congress takes a break.
Not to make light of things that are happening today, but we really need to make light of things that are happening today. It used to be that we all got our news once a day, sometimes twice (newspaper in the morning and then evening news) and then we went about our lives, blissfully unaware of the world at large because we were completely immersed in our OWN world: family, work, friends, those were the sharp focus of our lives.
Now the outside world intrudes constantly. It bangs on the door, jumps us as we ‘round the corner, blocks our way, screams at us incessantly… It is everywhere – TV, ads, internet, updates on phones, Facebook… we cannot escape it. All the craziness and horror that can be conceived by the blackest, deepest puts of humanity is pushed in our faces All. The. Time.
Jokes have become downright mean. TV has become a showcase for viciousness masquerading as entertainment. Celebrities are alternatively revered and reviled as we discover that they are less/more than we demand them to be. Good manners and common sense have become quaint relics of another time. We celebrate bad behavior in sports “stars”. People who do not believe everything that we believe are loathed and reviled, and visa versa. Rumor is forwarded around the internet as fact. The polite phrase “excuse me” has come to mean “GET OUTTA MY WAY!”
Everyone has a myopic opinion about the state of the economy, international affairs, the housing crisis, the banking crisis, the ethics crisis, the state of our state… and everyone is LOUD. Politics is loud. Religion is loud. Rumor is loud. Panic is loud. Rebellion is loud. Everyone is screaming at the top of their lungs and no one is slowing down to listen to or even NOTICE the other side.
You people are yelling and pushing and shoving yourselves into heart attacks!
So, my idea is this: LIGHTEN UP, PEOPLE! Humorlessness in the face of the very serious state of the world is NOT going to make the world any better. People tend to shy away from others who take themselves too seriously because those kinds of people just aren’t any fun to be around. The impact of your words is not improved by sheer volume, nor is your cause helped by jumping into a light discussion with diatribes.
Personally, I think we need more whimsy in our lives. Frogs, spas, singing stars, LOL moments… indulging in silly pastimes, read the comics, play with the dog, tease the cat, watch the butterflies flit like drunken sailors, eat ice cream, roll your eyes as people who predict the end of the world in two years, jump in a rain puddle, watch old Bugs Bunny cartoons with your kids – or by yourself! – sneak out and catch a movie in the middle of the afternoon, listen to vintage Bill Cosby, take a bubble bath, read a really trashy doesn’t-even-have-one-redeeming-social-value book, take a different route to work, count the dandelion flowers in your lawn (ooooh, that one kinda hurts!), chat with a dear friend, tell an old joke, write run-on sentences once in a while… encourage flights of fancy in yourself.
You will be in a far better position to tackle those tough issues once you have aired out the garbage that has been mustering closed up inside your skull for far too long. Doesn’t your house smell better after throwing open the windows to let the Spring breeze waft through after a long, closed in Winter?? Same principle.
Give yourself and the world a break. Who cares if people look at you funny because you are singing in your car?? Sing anyway! Who cares if people think you aren’t being serious enough because you roll your eyes when you hear crap? Roll away!
Who cares if people question your sanity because you listen to the stars sing?? Listen anyway.
Be whimsical!
Just Musing,
Susan
********
Friday, March 5, 2010
Do Overs
**********
Have you ever reached a point in your life when you look back and wish you could change one, two, three things, rectify mistakes, reverse decisions, taken a different career path, or.... maybe just whisper something into your younger self's ear, a warning perhaps?
What would you do if you had the ability to do just that, to whisper one sentence in your younger self's ear, knowing that what you said would be absolutely believed. Would you do it?
Would you really do it, would you change that one thing?
Would you go back in time and change something that could, no, WOULD change everything that happened afterwards? Perhaps leading you into a completely different life, different path, career, home...
Not everyone feels that they have made really terrible mistakes along the road of this life, but most people, I think, have one or two things they would have done differently if they "knew then what they know now".
In the deepest, darkest corners of my own mind, when I look back on nearly 53 years of living, I see a whole slew of mistakes, really bad choices, times when I was too fearful to do something I should have done, or was too arrogant to look at both sides, or said the wrong thing and hurt someone, or went along with something I knew I shouldn’t have just because it was easier, or I believed in the absolute wrong person… My life is rife with these errors in judgment, some big, some small, some huge, some too embarrassing to even recall without cringing.
So if I had ONE do over, one chance to warn myself, would I take that chance, even though it might change everything?
Yeah, I think I would.
I would warn myself about getting involved with a particular person who ended up stealing four years of my life and hurting me on so many levels, including my relationship with my own children. I still think back on the entire episode in my life with real bitterness, even after nearly fifteen years.
My own scars I maybe could have lived with, but what it did to my relationship with my own wonderful, marvelous kids is just... awful. My children, who I carried, bore and raised, loved more than my own life then and now, one selfish and stupid mistake in character judgment changed everything.
We have managed to get through it and now I am close - in as many different ways as they are different from each other - to all three of my now grown children, but there was heartache that did not need to happen, tears that did not need to be shed, confidence that did not need to be shattered, pain that I did not have to put them – or, let's be honest here, myself – through.
Yeah, I would do it.
How about you?
Just Musing,
Susan
***********
Have you ever reached a point in your life when you look back and wish you could change one, two, three things, rectify mistakes, reverse decisions, taken a different career path, or.... maybe just whisper something into your younger self's ear, a warning perhaps?
What would you do if you had the ability to do just that, to whisper one sentence in your younger self's ear, knowing that what you said would be absolutely believed. Would you do it?
Would you really do it, would you change that one thing?
Would you go back in time and change something that could, no, WOULD change everything that happened afterwards? Perhaps leading you into a completely different life, different path, career, home...
Not everyone feels that they have made really terrible mistakes along the road of this life, but most people, I think, have one or two things they would have done differently if they "knew then what they know now".
In the deepest, darkest corners of my own mind, when I look back on nearly 53 years of living, I see a whole slew of mistakes, really bad choices, times when I was too fearful to do something I should have done, or was too arrogant to look at both sides, or said the wrong thing and hurt someone, or went along with something I knew I shouldn’t have just because it was easier, or I believed in the absolute wrong person… My life is rife with these errors in judgment, some big, some small, some huge, some too embarrassing to even recall without cringing.
So if I had ONE do over, one chance to warn myself, would I take that chance, even though it might change everything?
Yeah, I think I would.
I would warn myself about getting involved with a particular person who ended up stealing four years of my life and hurting me on so many levels, including my relationship with my own children. I still think back on the entire episode in my life with real bitterness, even after nearly fifteen years.
My own scars I maybe could have lived with, but what it did to my relationship with my own wonderful, marvelous kids is just... awful. My children, who I carried, bore and raised, loved more than my own life then and now, one selfish and stupid mistake in character judgment changed everything.
We have managed to get through it and now I am close - in as many different ways as they are different from each other - to all three of my now grown children, but there was heartache that did not need to happen, tears that did not need to be shed, confidence that did not need to be shattered, pain that I did not have to put them – or, let's be honest here, myself – through.
Yeah, I would do it.
How about you?
Just Musing,
Susan
***********
BEING GOOD: What Kind of Vampire Do You Want to Be?
(just having a little bit of fun...)
*************
So you want to be a GOOD Vampire...
One of the very first thoughts – right after the initial shock and elation of The Turn – that enters most new Vampire’s minds is what kind of Being they are going to be. History is fraught with tales of the most vile and evil dating back all the way back to Adam (try googling Lilith, Adam's legendary first wife who became the first Demon Being).
Thanks to pop culture’s current love affair with our kind as evidenced by numerous popular books and TV and movies, a few new concepts have been introduced into our lexicon, breathing new - you will pardon the expression - life into what heretofore had been a solitary journey.
Leave it to the humans to come up with the very concept of ethical vampires; good guys who fight their baser natures to become purveyors of justice, or at the very least, fight the overwhelming urge to prey on humanity with impunity.
This book was written to guide you on your journey to becoming an ethical vampire, in that concept’s many forms, so that you can take charge of your own existence without falling prey to the eternal boredom that so afflicts our kind.
At least for a while.
**********
Choosing to become an ethical Being is your first step. Whether you are a new Vampire who is struggling to maintain a similar moral code as you had in your mortal life against The Thirst, or you are an experienced Being who is weary of the tedium that almost inevitably surfaces after centuries of life and are simply looking for something new to do, this chapter will help define what type of Being you wish to become:
Vegan-Only Hunts animals, never partakes of human blood under any circumstances.
Vegetarian-Feeds on animals, supplemented with packaged human blood and/or "Juice Boxes" or other human volunteers
Judge-Researches, Hunts and Feeds only on human evil-doers.
Executioner-Similar to the Judge, but works with human law enforcement either within the penitentiary system or individual contracts to eliminate evil doers who cannot be brought to human justice
Protector-Exacts a "tithe" from the community that the Being protects. usually in outlying or third world areas. Generally out of favor with the advent of better roads, communication and technology.
Ambulance Chaser-Feeds on the dying in hospital, usually in conjunction with a Kevorkian doctor, hospital morgue attendants or morticians.
Street Cleaner-Feeds on homeless, usually the mentally disturbed, drunks or drug abusers
COMMON TERMS:
The Turn –The individual experience of the change from human to Vampire
The Thirst – the urge to Feed
The Hunt- the urge to physically chase down or outsmart prey
Interval – time between The Thirst, typically one moon cycle, or roughly one month
The Rush – the initial euphoria that follows Feeding
Munchies – Eating for pleasure when not overcome with The Thirst
Juice Box – A human who voluntarily elects to be partially drained for a fee when a Vampire has the Munchies. Cannot be used during The Thirst as the desire to feed completely will usually take over a Vampire by all but the most strong willed of Beings. Sometimes referred to as Cup O’ Soup.
Grocer - A Being who runs a cooperative which coordinates, certifies, preps and cares for humans who elect to become Juice Boxes for a fee.
...yeah, there's more, but not tonight!
Just Musing,
Susan
*************
*************
So you want to be a GOOD Vampire...
One of the very first thoughts – right after the initial shock and elation of The Turn – that enters most new Vampire’s minds is what kind of Being they are going to be. History is fraught with tales of the most vile and evil dating back all the way back to Adam (try googling Lilith, Adam's legendary first wife who became the first Demon Being).
Thanks to pop culture’s current love affair with our kind as evidenced by numerous popular books and TV and movies, a few new concepts have been introduced into our lexicon, breathing new - you will pardon the expression - life into what heretofore had been a solitary journey.
Leave it to the humans to come up with the very concept of ethical vampires; good guys who fight their baser natures to become purveyors of justice, or at the very least, fight the overwhelming urge to prey on humanity with impunity.
This book was written to guide you on your journey to becoming an ethical vampire, in that concept’s many forms, so that you can take charge of your own existence without falling prey to the eternal boredom that so afflicts our kind.
At least for a while.
**********
Choosing to become an ethical Being is your first step. Whether you are a new Vampire who is struggling to maintain a similar moral code as you had in your mortal life against The Thirst, or you are an experienced Being who is weary of the tedium that almost inevitably surfaces after centuries of life and are simply looking for something new to do, this chapter will help define what type of Being you wish to become:
Vegan-Only Hunts animals, never partakes of human blood under any circumstances.
Vegetarian-Feeds on animals, supplemented with packaged human blood and/or "Juice Boxes" or other human volunteers
Judge-Researches, Hunts and Feeds only on human evil-doers.
Executioner-Similar to the Judge, but works with human law enforcement either within the penitentiary system or individual contracts to eliminate evil doers who cannot be brought to human justice
Protector-Exacts a "tithe" from the community that the Being protects. usually in outlying or third world areas. Generally out of favor with the advent of better roads, communication and technology.
Ambulance Chaser-Feeds on the dying in hospital, usually in conjunction with a Kevorkian doctor, hospital morgue attendants or morticians.
Street Cleaner-Feeds on homeless, usually the mentally disturbed, drunks or drug abusers
COMMON TERMS:
The Turn –The individual experience of the change from human to Vampire
The Thirst – the urge to Feed
The Hunt- the urge to physically chase down or outsmart prey
Interval – time between The Thirst, typically one moon cycle, or roughly one month
The Rush – the initial euphoria that follows Feeding
Munchies – Eating for pleasure when not overcome with The Thirst
Juice Box – A human who voluntarily elects to be partially drained for a fee when a Vampire has the Munchies. Cannot be used during The Thirst as the desire to feed completely will usually take over a Vampire by all but the most strong willed of Beings. Sometimes referred to as Cup O’ Soup.
Grocer - A Being who runs a cooperative which coordinates, certifies, preps and cares for humans who elect to become Juice Boxes for a fee.
...yeah, there's more, but not tonight!
Just Musing,
Susan
*************
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