Teenage Angst

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I find it amazing, even after raising six (yes, SIX) kids to adulthood, how each of them has manifested their teen angst/brain-fades in completely different ways. The youngest, who is 16, told us that he is sometimes ashamed of us (big surprise), and then is embarassed that his dad drove him to his performance today on the Harley. Apparently, his observations are that only "white trash and middle aged people ride Harleys" (his words, I swear!). This after last year when he LOVED going riding with his dad.

He is also all freaked out that we refuse to buy him a cell phone. Actually my words were, "You can have a cell phone when you get a job and can pay for it, just like a car."

Apparently that makes us BAD parents in his eyes.

And here I sit, thinking it makes us GOOD parents. Too much is just GIVEN to our teens until they develop a real sense of entitlement and don't realize that in the real world you actually have to work to get stuff, and work some more to keep it.

Anyway, just like all of you parents out there, I am often amazed at how well our kids turn out even after being total aliens for one to six years.

From pouty and sullen looks to uncontrollable screaming violent rages, we have experienced an extrememly wide range of teenaged emotional sturm und drang. We often wondered if WE would survive this time, our children's descent into hell; where logic and patterns suddenly dissipate into wildly flucuating emotional storms that pop up like dust devils out of the clear blue sky and throw dust and trash into your eyes... and children with whom you shared very special and adorable beautiful bonds suddenly hate you with every fiber of their being.

Oy.

Every parent who survives this period shares a very special bond. Just mention your own teenage horrors in a group of parents who have lived through it, and the rolled eyes, nervous laughter and their OWN horror stories will flood out, and we can all laugh about it, sharing in the pain, which of course, makes it easier to bear. That laughter gives us release, helps us to realize that we are not alone. We are NOT bad people or horrible parents - something that we all fear in our secret hearts.

We are simply riding out a tumultuous storm that cannot be controlled, only experienced. We are attempting to deal with the sudden dissapearance of our much loved child into a demon possesed creature you barely recognise, all the while attempting to maintain a Family with your partner and any other brothers and sisters with love and patience and guidance (and maybe a touch of humor) every single day.

The hope I offer to anyone going through it, or seeing it come down the road, is that it is unavoidable, but you will survive it, and you are NOT alone.

Just Musing,
Susan

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